Spring....Plan your camping trip NOW!

Rules of Life

There are three things that cannot be easily hidden: The Sun, The Moon, and the Truth.

The following are 2 Simple Truths, 5 Rules of Life, and 3 Bonus Rules:

SIMPLE TRUTH 1:

Lovers help each other undress before sex.

After sex, they always dress on their own.

Moral of the story -- In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

SIMPLE TRUTH 2:

When a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, "Congratulations."

But none go up to the man, touch his penis and say, "Good Job."

Moral of the story -- Hard work is rarely appreciated.

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:

 1.  Money can't buy happiness - but it's far more comfortable to cry in a PONTIAC than on a bicycle.

2.  Forgive your enemy - but remember the asshole's name.

3.  If you help someone when they're in trouble - they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

4.  Alcohol does not solve any problems - but then again, neither does milk.

5.  Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them. 

BONUS RULES:

 1.  Condoms do not guarantee safe sex! A man was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.

2.  I think all politicians should wear uniforms. You know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors.

3.  Also, all politicians should serve only two terms - one in office and one in prison.

This was a public service announcement. No need to thank me.

 

SORRY>>> FEELIN THE NEED TO SPREAD SOME OF THE GOOD WORD.

 

Edited May 25, 20224 yr by JUSTA6

Well done as always, JustA.

My wife, Julie, had been after me for several weeks to varnish the wooden

seat on our  toilet.

Finally, I got around to doing it while Julie was out. After finishing, I

left to take care of another matter Before she returned.

She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower,

she sat on the toilet.

As she tried to stand up, she realized that  the not-quite-dry epoxy paint

had glued her to the toilet seat.

About that time, I got home and realized her predicament. We both pushed and

pulled without any success whatsoever.

Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts. Julie wrapped a

sheet around herself.  I drove her to the hospital emergency room.

The ER Doctor got her into a position where  he could study how to free her 

(Try to get a  mental picture of this.). Julie tried to lighten the

embarrassment of  it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never

seen  anything like this before."

 

The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen  lots of them...... I just never

saw one mounted and framed."

 

More JustA gold!

More it is........

Edited June 14, 20223 yr by JUSTA6

21 minutes ago, JUSTA6 said:

Going to be real exciting conversation:

"How many horses she got?"

"One."

5 hours ago, Ringo64 said:

Going to be real exciting conversation:

"How many horses she got?"

"One."

Naturally aspirated?    runs on methane!     Donkin on 45 skinny's.  😁   

Edited June 19, 20223 yr by JUSTA6

so its a little warm were you are JustA ?????

Try being on Power Tour in the deep South! Heat indexes were over 100 every day.

So it was you that sent the sympathy heat?  Hope you left it down there, but it's really crappy forecast.  Blaming YOU!

3 hours ago, Frosty said:

Try being on Power Tour in the deep South! Heat indexes were over 100 every day.

And here i am working on a day thats only 5 degrees c and i am on my second m12 battery in my heated hoodie!!

5 hours ago, 64 kiwi boni said:

And here i am working on a day thats only 5 degrees c and i am on my second m12 battery in my heated hoodie!!

Trade ya  

8 hours ago, Ringo64 said:

Trade ya  

yeah nah !