Trivial Pursuit

Endless stretches of road and long hours in the car can make anyone sleepy. These signs liven things up with some exciting trivia questions and you can impress your friends and family with your general knowledge.

Driving will be more fun, and that road trip will go by in a jiffy. We’re not sure why these signs aren’t more popular. This must be the most boring stretch of road in all of Queensland.

I can tell you those Queensland road signs are on the 'Marlborough stretch,' 300km of just about nothing between Rockhampton and Sarina. Flat, boring scrub - there's even a dried up creek bed called the River Styx - yep, same one where you pay the Ferryman.

I especially liked the chick holding up the sign - from the look on her face, he had better moved out before she gets home!

Don't let them take your temperature
on your forehead as you enter the supermarket
because it erases your memory.
I went for macaroni and cheese and came home with two cases of beer.

 

Turns out it was a marble in the ashtray...

They say every piece of chocolate eaten shortens your life by two minutes. 
I've done the math.  Seems I died in 1537.

 

 

I got myself a seniors' GPS.
Not only does it tell me how to get to my destination,
it tells me why I wanted to go there.

 

 

Most people don't think I'm as old as I am
until they hear me stand up.

 

 

Edited March 14, 20224 yr by JUSTA6

Redneck Engineering at it's finest!

Spring day in Michigan! YESSSS!

state highway 1 in New Zealand!!!

 

Edited March 16, 20224 yr by 64 kiwi boni

19 hours ago, 64 kiwi boni said:

state highway 1 in New Zealand!!!

 

I75 around Tampa here. Stuck in traffic yesterday, felt each and every one of those as my car sank into them. 

Australia's fuel excise is around 45% of our retail price of fuel. That money is supposed to go to road safety initiatives (speed cameras) and road infrastructure (armco rails where you don't need them.) I don't know where the other $300 billion goes coz it sure doesn't fix the roads. If we had as few potholes as in that cartoon, I'd be happy.

New car security system.......... Link will not work...damn it was good.

Edited April 4, 20224 yr by JUSTA6

  

Subject: Two Nuns
 



Two nuns went to shop at the market. They were taking so long so one said,
"Sister Mary it is getting dark and we are so far away from the convent." 

"I know Sister Rose but there is a man following us." 

"Oh! What does he want." 

"He wants his wicked way with us." 

"What can we do?" 

"Let's separate. You go left and I will go right." 

He followed Sister Rose. Sister Mary reached the convent and became worried.
After an hour Sister Rose appeared. "What happened?" 

"I started to run and so did he." 

"And then?" "He caught up with me." 

"Oh my God, and what did you do?"  

"I lifted up my dress Sister!" 

"And what did he do?" 

"Dropped his pants." 

"And then?" 

"It's obvious, isn't it? A nun with her dress lifted up can run faster than
a man with his pants down."

If you thought of a different ending, do 180 Hail Mary's and 320 Our Fathers
and ask G-d to clean your filthy mind.

 

Justa day at the office.....

A sardonic Senior might say. 

 

As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake. 

I’m responsible for what I say, not what you understand. 

Common sense is like deodorant.  The people who need it the most never use it. 

My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there's a new strain out there. 

It’s not my age that bothers me; it’s the side effects. 

I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, but I make sure I’m nowhere near the curb on trash day.

As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, I'm sure of one thing:  It will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

Me, sobbing: "I can't see you anymore. . . .   I'm not going to let you hurt me again."
My Trainer: "It was one sit-up.”

As I’ve gotten older, people think I’ve become lazy.  The truth is I’m just being more energy efficient.

I haven't gotten anything done today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.

If you find yourself feeling useless, remember it took 20 years, trillions of dollars, and four presidents to replace the Taliban with the Taliban.

Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.

I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently.  I have new ideas.

I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.

I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen, and I have no clue where the music is coming from.

Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling.

Apparently RSVPing to a wedding invitation "Maybe next time" isn't the correct response.

She says I keep pushing her buttons.  If that were true, I would have found mute by now.

So you’ve been eating hot dogs and McChickens all your life, but you won’t take the vaccine because you don’t know what’s in it.  Are you kidding me?

Sometimes the Universe puts you in the same situation again to see if you’re still a dumbass.

There is no such thing as a grouchy old person.  The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest.

1 hour ago, JUSTA6 said:

There is no such thing as a grouchy old person.  The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest.

for bloody sure!!!!

I don't know where you find these, JustA, but please don't stop. The ones pertaining to getting old are superb.

 

 

I swear, that Venn diagram is based on my life. Absolute gold.

Chris...this ones 4U.😁

 

 

hahaha 

my boss wants a tattoo... and this is why i dont want her too !!!

 

4 hours ago, JUSTA6 said:

JustA !!! i think these are your best ever !!!!! well done 

 From a New Zealand point of view, i really worry about the last picture. we as a little country have wayyy too many eggs in that basket.

As a tradesman of 40 years i have learnt the hard way, not to put all my 'eggs in one basket', or i would go broke ! and maybe this is a life rule for all of us !

It doesn't matter on what scale ( sole trader/ multi national business.) it is,  but...........

Well i leave it for you all to think about.

Edited May 5, 20224 yr by 64 kiwi boni

9 hours ago, JUSTA6 said: