Don't EVER grow up!!!

[notallthere]

Just for Frosty.  Watch the yards you are in.

 

[JUSTA6]

The math test

Four guys head off from college for a road trip blowin off their test in math class.  They call the teacher and explain they had a flat and a replacement tire was unavailable till the following day.  He replied, that was OK and they could make up the test when they got back.  The party continues.....  They get back, the teacher puts each in a room and hands them the test.  1st question is for 5 points.  What is 10 divided by 2???   WHAT??? this is too easy.  5.    2nd question worth 95 points.......   What tire was flat?  

[JUSTA6]

[Frosty]

On 2/18/2021 at 9:07 PM, notallthere said:

Just for Frosty.  Watch the yards you are in.

 

It's my sister. She's such a snowflake.

Ummm....I'm not sure this is what Cheech and Chong had in mind.

This is something that ever comes after "Hold Ma' Beer - Watch this" or you've been invited to GE's house!

Laughing, pointing, staring, and posting to social media not withstanding.....

Told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday.

[JUSTA6]

[Frosty]

2 hours ago, JUSTA6 said:

I guess we have to stop by Canadian Tire now, eh?

Sure, why do you think Ski-Doos are built in Canada, eh? So Canucks can get to work too.

Holy Waa! Dis is better den a lot of U.P. deer camp outhouses!

The Detroit River? Wow! I can see America from here!

Ain't nothing like a summer time BBQ with friends!

What is the opposites shorts?  Longs?

A Frosty family reunion.

 

 

[JUSTA6]

[JUSTA6]

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But, all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic....And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest. The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass.....and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic." Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement. There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted: "You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."🤣🤣🤣

[JUSTA6]

[JUSTA6]

[JUSTA6]

Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.

*******

It’s weird being the same age as old people.

 ******

When I was a kid I wanted to be older… this is not what I expected!

 ******

Life is like a helicopter.  I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

 ******

Chocolate is God’s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.

 ******

It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.

 ******

Marriage Counselor: “Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?” 

Him: “To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.”

  ******

Never sing in the shower!  Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked.  So remember… Don’t sing!

 ******

My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make the food  right in front of you.  So I took her to Subway and that’s how the fight started…

 ******

During the middle ages they celebrated the end of the plague with wine and orgies. 

Does anyone know if there is anything like that planned for when this Covid 2020 thing ends? (Asking for a friend)

  ******

I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say “Wow...” that many times in your first session, but here we are…

 ******

If 2020 was a math word-problem:  

If you’re going down a river at 2 MPH and your canoe loses a wheel, 

how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof?

 ******

I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

  ******

We can all agree that in 2015 not a single person got the answer correct to, 

“Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?”

 ******

So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?

 ******

If you can’t think of a word, say “I forgot the English word for it.”

That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.

 ******
I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.

 ******

Coronacoaster Noun:  The ups and downs of a pandemic.  One day you’re loving your bubble, doing workouts, baking banana bread and going for long walks and the next you’re crying, drinking gin for breakfast and missing people you don’t even like.
 ******
I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests I’m 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet.

 ******
Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.

 ******

I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event.

 ******

I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.

 ******

How many of us have looked around our family reunion and thought, 

“Well aren’t we just two clowns short of a circus?”

 ******

At what point can we just start using 2020 as profanity? 

As in: “That’s a load of 2020.” or “What in the 2020.” or “abso-2020-lutely.”

 ******
You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up!

 ******
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. 

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

 ******
This is the day dogs have been waiting for.  They realize their owners can’t leave the house and they get them 24/7.  Dogs are rejoicing everywhere.   Cats are contemplating suicide.

  ******

If you are trying to impress me with your vehicle, it better be a food truck.

[JUSTA6]

[JUSTA6]

Kiwi.....this one's 4 you!

[64 kiwi boni]

3 hours ago, JUSTA6 said:

Kiwi.....this one's 4 you!

oh wow!!! i could make that... 40 tee, 88 degree bend and a 40x65 level invert !!!  NICE 

 that truely looks like a plumbers fishing set up!

[Frosty]

7 hours ago, 64 kiwi boni said:

oh wow!!! i could make that... 40 tee, 88 degree bend and a 40x65 level invert !!!  NICE 

 that truely looks like a plumbers fishing set up!

Just hope you don't hook too big a fish.....you might spill your beer.!

....and that, as we all know, is alcohol abuse! 

[64 kiwi boni]

5 hours ago, Frosty said:

Just hope you don't hook too big a fish.....you might spill your beer.!

....and that, as we all know, is alcohol abuse! 

ah thats soo true mate. but, if that big fish messes up my beer, as all good fisherman know, pull out ya knife and cut that bloody line!! hahaha

[JUSTA6]

Do you know what this is?

    

 

 

 

 

 

Tobacco Smoke Enema Kit

(1750s – 1810s).

The tobacco enema was used to infuse tobacco smoke into a patient’s rectum for various medical purposes, but primarily the resuscitation of drowning victims.  

A rectal tube inserted into the anus was connected to a fumigator and bellows that forced the smoke into the rectum. The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote respiration.

 doubts about the credibility of tobacco enemas led to the popular phrase “blowing smoke up your ass.” 

As you are most likely aware, this odd tool is still heavily used by governments today.

[JUSTA6]

[JUSTA6]

[JUSTA6]

[Frosty]

Edited March 18, 2021 by Frosty

[JUSTA6]

Here in the mitten, one of the 1st signs of spring is seeing your 1st Robin (our state bird) of the new year.  Yesterday I saw my 1st Orange Judge of the year....spring must be very near.

[Frosty]

26 minutes ago, JUSTA6 said:

Here in the mitten, one of the 1st signs of spring is seeing your 1st Robin (our state bird) of the new year.  Yesterday I saw my 1st Orange Judge of the year....spring must be very near.

Dude.....it's Carousel Red! Not orange! Orange is for those Mopey and Chevie guys! 

[JUSTA6]

5 hours ago, Frosty said:

Dude.....it's Carousel Red! Not orange! Orange is for those Mopey and Chevie guys! 

Still the 1st one of the year!!!   You've seen more?

[Frosty]

What is this? The swallows return to Capistrano? The buzzards return to Hinckley (Ohio)? 

To answer your question, no I haven't seen one yet smart guy.

My question back to you is this: are you sure it is a real Judge? It's wearing trim rings. Real Judges didn't come with trim rings. Pffffttt!!!!