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Don't EVER grow up!!!


JUSTA6

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Ah well that didnt work! i got 9 !! my favorite is 5 forrest gump :rofl:

 but every number from 1 to 9 adds up too 9 :stars::rofl:....

 

Hay wheres the pics of the gto fire up today ????? mr JustA :driving: 

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38 minutes ago, 64 kiwi boni said:

Ah well that didnt work! i got 9 !! my favorite is 5 forrest gump :rofl:

 but every number from 1 to 9 adds up too 9 :stars::rofl:....

 

Hay wheres the pics of the gto fire up today ????? mr JustA :driving: 

Didn't take any.  Easy to get down to clean/polish rims/tires, not so easy gettin up.  Almost started on the exhaust/ladder bars/rearend....YEA hell no.  Got the engine compartment N outside. Then plopped my a$$ on the tractor to mow the lawn.  Frosty... my order arrived today from Gold Eagle.  1 box, fair amount of door prize material, adding a bunch of my stuff as Dan Kane said we have very little for door prizes this year.  Still gonna set the tent up and give stuff away to spectators. 

 

driving.gif

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8 hours ago, 64 kiwi boni said:

sponsorship for product for events is always a pita !!

It's tough finding anything since Covid has hurt all business.  But Gold Eagle has come through for us for MANY years.

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On 5/15/2021 at 11:12 PM, JUSTA6 said:

Frosty... my order arrived today from Gold Eagle.  1 box, fair amount of door prize material, adding a bunch of my stuff as Dan Kane said we have very little for door prizes this year.  Still gonna set the tent up and give stuff away to spectators. 

 

driving.gif

I guess we owe Bobby Cleveland a huge thank you then! I hope he's doing well!

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  • 2 weeks later...

image.png.13ae6b8e5f69c6541209a94bd78c6574.png

Garage Door

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open.

His assistant walked up to him and said,   
'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?'

The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled  by the question.   

As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up.

He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door'   

He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Jaguar parked in there?'   

She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old minivan with two flat tires..           


Two elderly gentlemen    from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:

'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'


Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'

'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'


'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

 


A senior citizen          

said to his eighty-year old buddy:           
'So I hear you're getting married?'


'Yep!'

'Do I know her?

'Nope!'           
'This woman, is she good looking?'           
'Not really.'           
'Is she a good cook?'           
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'           
'Does she have lots of money?'           
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'           
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'           
'I don't know.'           
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'           
'Because she can still drive!'           


Three               old guys

are out walking.           
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'           
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'           
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'

 


A man       was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing aid.   
It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.'           
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'           
'       Twelve thirty..'



Morris               , an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.           
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.           
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'           
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''           
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

 


One more. . ..!           
A little old man       shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.   
After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.           
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'           
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis'           
 

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47 minutes ago, notallthere said:

Date night for Ms Notallthere and I.  Should be go to the ribfest or to the vegan restaurant?

carnivor.jpg

your plate suggests that its gona be rib fest Notallthere :rofl:

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23 minutes ago, notallthere said:

Hell yes I did.  Of coarse I went with the one called Jack the Ribber.

To truly test a vegan...... watch to see if they drool when watching someone mow a lawn!!!

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6 hours ago, 64 kiwi boni said:

JustA, where do you find these classic images ???:rofl:

I have some great friends that send them to me.  I only forward the best. this need to be wall art!!!!!  Simply the best!

image.png.11973513158a750ef8ef756d844a9410.png

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SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS (true stories from Australia)

Number One Idiot, so far in 2021

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the

poison control centre.

Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little

daughter eating ants.  I quickly reassured her that the ants are not

harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the

hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to

mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to

kill the ants.  I told her that she better bring her daughter into the

emergency room right away.

 

Number Two Idiot so far in 2021

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal

a life raft from one of the 747s.  They were successful in getting it out

of the plane and home.

Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a

Westpac Rescue Helicopter coming towards them.

It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator

beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer

employed at Boeing.

 

Number Three Idiot so far in 2021

A man, wanting to rob a Bank of Queensland , walked into the Branch and

wrote 'Put all your muny in this bag.'

While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began

to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the

police before he reached the teller's window.  So he left the Bank and

crossed the street to the NAB Bank.  After waiting a few minutes in

line, he handed his note to the teller.  She read it and, surmising from

his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbour,

told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was

written on a Bank of Queensland deposit slip and that he would either

have to fill out a NAB deposit slip or go back to Bank of Queensland ...

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left.

He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at

the Bank of Queensland. Happened in Noosa!

 

Number Four Idiot so far in 2021

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all

of the cash from the cash drawer.

After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of

Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.  He told the

cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said,

'Because I don't believe you are over 21.'  The robber said he was, but

the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe

him.  At this point, the robber took his driver's licence out of his

wallet and gave it to the clerk.

The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and

she put the Scotch in the bag.  The robber then ran from the store with

his loot.

The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of

the robber that she got off the licence.  They arrested the robber two

hours later.

 

Number Five Idiot so far in 2021

A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The

first one shouted, 'Nobody move!'  When his partner moved, the startled

first bandit shot him.

 

Number Six Idiot so far in 2021

Seems this bloke wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just

throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.

So, he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window. 

The brick bounced back knocking him unconscious. 

It seems the liquor store window was made of Flexi-Glass...

The whole event was caught on videotape.. Perth WA ...

 

IDIOT SIGHTING: 

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,

''Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?

To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'

He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Melbourne ...

 

JUST AN IDIOT:

When my husband and I arrived at a car dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.

We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.

As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it’s open!'

His reply, 'I know - I already done that side.'

This was at the FORD dealership Dubbo.

 

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Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning. The 87-year-old had just finished his morning  jog and wasn't even short of breath.

The 80-year-old was amazed at the  guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina  with the ladies."

So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help.

He said, "Do  you have any rye bread?"

She said,  "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

He said, "I  want five loaves."

She said,  "My goodness, five loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be  hard."

The old man  says to himself,  I can't believe everybody knows about this shit but me.

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LEMON PICKERS NEEDED IN FLORIDA - ONLY US CITIZENS OR LEGAL IMMIGRANTS NEED APPLY

 

"Lemon Pickers Needed”, read the ad in the newspaper. 
 
Ms. Sally Mulligan of Coral Springs, Florida, saw it, and decided to apply for one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do. She submitted her application for a job in a Florida lemon grove, but seemed far too qualified for the job. She has a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan, and a master’s degree from Michigan State University. For a number of years, she had worked as a social worker, and also as a school teacher. 
 
The foreman studied her application, frowned, and said, "I see that you are well educated, and have an impressive resume. “However, I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?” "Well, as a matter of fact, I have," she said. "I've been divorced three times, owned two Chryslers, voted twice for Obama, once for Hillary and most recently for Biden.” 
 
She started work yesterday.

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Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.

What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.

Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.

Why do bees stay in their hives during winter?  Swarm.

If you're bad at haggling, you'll end up paying the price.

Just so everyone's clear, I'm going to put my glasses on.

A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.

I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.

Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.

How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.

I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.

Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.

When I told my contractor I didn't want carpeted steps, he gave me a blank stare.

Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, "Oh no, not U2 again."

Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it's a 

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