Don't EVER grow up!!!

[JUSTA6]

Answer me this one Congress

 

Finally, a relevant question which Congress will have to debate: 

Who pays the Checker?

There are important questions to be answered about recent LGBT bathroom legislation and whether transgender people will be permitted to use a restroom of the gender that they "identify" with or be required to use the restroom of their biological gender.

If the latter, would public restrooms be required to have a Genital Inspection Station posted at the entrance to all public restrooms?

Who will have to pay these Pecker Checkers, the people using the restroom, or the entity that owns the restroom?

And how much money will a Pecker Checker be paid to check peckers?

Or, do we pay a Pecker Checker by the number of peckers checked? 

How many peckers can a Pecker Checker check if a Pecker Checker could check peckers?

What has this country come to when the U.S. Department of Labor has to create a new job description of Politically Correct Restroom Service Inspectors?

Want to guess their motto? "If You gotta pee - We gotta see!

[Ringo64]

Got some air!

[Frosty]

So does this also mean we don't give a squat if you gotta squat? 

 

[64 kiwi boni]

7 hours ago, JUSTA6 said:

Answer me this one Congress

 

Finally, a relevant question which Congress will have to debate: 

Who pays the Checker?

There are important questions to be answered about recent LGBT bathroom legislation and whether transgender people will be permitted to use a restroom of the gender that they "identify" with or be required to use the restroom of their biological gender.

If the latter, would public restrooms be required to have a Genital Inspection Station posted at the entrance to all public restrooms?

Who will have to pay these Pecker Checkers, the people using the restroom, or the entity that owns the restroom?

And how much money will a Pecker Checker be paid to check peckers?

Or, do we pay a Pecker Checker by the number of peckers checked? 

How many peckers can a Pecker Checker check if a Pecker Checker could check peckers?

What has this country come to when the U.S. Department of Labor has to create a new job description of Politically Correct Restroom Service Inspectors?

Want to guess their motto? "If You gotta pee - We gotta see!

PRICELESS 

[64 kiwi boni]

9 hours ago, Frosty said:

Dualquadpete has a saying, "You can't fix stupid - but you can sedate it!"

Here is an article from Daytona Beach Florida about a real life Dukes of Hazzard wannabe. Seems he decided to crash a drawbridge gate and jump the drawbridge as it was opening up!

 

https://www.powernationtv.com/post/car-jumps-over-drawbridge-in-bad-dukes-of-hazard-attempt?utm_source=drip&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Car+Jumps+Over+Drawbridge+in+Bad+Dukes+of+Hazard+Attempt

 

 

RINGO !!! is that you practicing your dukes of hazard jumps AGAIN !!🙄, 

How many time have we told you  ??? shoot out the cameras FIRST !!! 

[JUSTA6]

[JUSTA6]

Ten (10) Things I know about you.

1) You are reading this.

2) You are human.

3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips.

4) You just attempted to do it. You are an idiot!

6) You are laughing at yourself,

7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.

😎 You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.

9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.

10) You are probably going to post this to see who else will read it, I did because I didn't want to be alone in the idiot fool category.

 

"Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many."👍

 

 

The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said.

The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

 

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'

A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'

 

 

IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD

1) You can't count your hair.

2) You can't wash your eyes with soap.

3) You can't breathe when your tongue is out.

Put your tongue back in your mouth, sure you can still breathe, you fool.

 

 

[Frosty]

 

[JUSTA6]

 

 

This has got to be one of the most clever  
E-mails I've received in a while.
Someone out there 
must be "deadly" at Scrabble.

PRESBYTERIAN: 
When you rearrange the letters:  
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER: 
When you rearrange the letters:  
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:  
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:      
When you rearrange the letters: 
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters: 
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters: 
HERE COME DOTS

DORMITORY  :   
When you rearrange the letters:  
DIRTY ROOM

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters: 
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:  
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:     
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS: 
When you rearrange the letters:     
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT: 
When you rearrange the letters:  
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES: 
When you rearrange the letters:  
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: 
When you rearrange the letters:  
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:     
WOMAN HITLER

[JUSTA6]

Don't think many are gettin it.     Cmon B honest.

[64 kiwi boni]

3 hours ago, JUSTA6 said:

Don't think many are gettin it.     Cmon B honest.

nah i cant work it out mate🙄

[JUSTA6]

39 minutes ago, 64 kiwi boni said:

nah i cant work it out mate🙄

Think about it....your kids are outside.....your at the end of your rope.

[64 kiwi boni]

3 hours ago, JUSTA6 said:

Think about it....your kids are outside.....your at the end of your rope.

Haha ! Got it 👍

[JUSTA6]

[JUSTA6]

[JUSTA6]

 Makes you wonder....

Hmmmmmm….. 

1. The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54

2. The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57

3. The world bodybuilding champion  died at the age of 41

4. The best footballer in the world Maradona, died at the age of 60.

BUT

5. The KFC inventor died at 94.

6. Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88

7. Cigarette-maker Winston  died at the age of 102

8. The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake

9. The inventor of Hennessey died at 98. 

How did these doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life? The rabbit is always jumping up and down but it lives for only 2 years... and the turtle that doesn’t exercise at all, lives 400 years.

So, take some rest, chill, stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life. You will still die.

 

 

(P.S. I'm sending my Nike trainers back for a refund!)

[JUSTA6]

 

Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.

What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.

Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.

Why do bees stay in their hives during winter?  Swarm.

If you're bad at haggling, you'll end up paying the price.

Just so everyone's clear, I'm going to put my glasses on.

A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.

I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.

Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.

How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.

I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.

Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.

When I told my contractor I didn't want carpeted steps, he gave me a blank stare.

Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, "Oh no, not U2 again."

Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it's a sentence.

Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person's walk, and the result was staggering.

I'm trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.

I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won't lie, it was a rocky road.

What do you say to comfort a friend who's struggling with grammar? There, their, they're.

I lost my girlfriend's audiobook, and now I'll never hear the end of it.

I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarzenegger dolls are and he replied, "Aisle B, back"

What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his own incision? Suture self.

I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness.

[Frosty]

Did JUSTA raid a bad Dad joke story?

[JUSTA6]

4 hours ago, Frosty said:

Did JUSTA raid a bad Dad joke story?

Passin on another HAHA Email.

[JUSTA6]

[JUSTA6]

[JUSTA6]

[JUSTA6]

[JUSTA6]

If you ever feel a little bit stupid,  just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius..

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,   

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss  USA  contest.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

--Mariah Carey

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"

-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,   

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"

--Winston Bennett,  University  of  Kentucky  basketball forward.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,   

"Outside of the killings,  Washington  has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"

--Mayor Marion Barry,  Washington  ,  DC  . ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"

--A congressional candidate in  Texas  ..

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,   

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.."

--Al Gore, Vice President

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,   

"I love  California  . I practically grew up in  Phoenix  .."

-- Dan Quayle

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,   

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

--Alex Ocasio Cortez

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,   

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,   

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude caucasions."

-- Maxine Waters

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  

" Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 2020 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."

--Keppel Enderbery

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

-- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,   

Feeling smarter yet?   

Send it on to

        Your brilliant friends.   

I just did !!

[JUSTA6]

For as long as I can remember, I have loved math tricks. This one really works! It will take you only about ten seconds and, amazingly, it will reveal your all-time favorite movie.

I'm pretty good at math, so I did it in my head, then on paper, and finally on a calculator just to confirm my mathematical calculations. Each time I got the same answer, and sure enough, it is my very favorite movie...EVER!

  DO NOT cheat. DO YOUR math, THEN compare the results on the list of movies at the bottom. You will be AMAZED at how scary true and accurate this test is:

  

1. Pick a number from 1-9.

2. Multiply that number by 3.

3. Add 3.

4. Multiply by 3 again.

5. Your total will be a two-digit number. Add the first and second digits
together to find your favorite movie (of all time) in the list of 17 movies
below:

 

Movie List:

1. Gone With the Wind
2. E.T.
3. Blazing Saddles
4. Star Wars
5. Forrest Gump
6. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
7. Jaws
8. Grease
9. The Nancy Pelosi Resignation Speech
10. Casablanca
11. Jurassic Park
12. Shrek
13 Pirates of the Caribbean
14. Titanic
15. Raiders of the Lost Ark
16. Home Alone
17. Mrs. Doubtfire