The sand sculpture of Lincoln I think says it all about today's politics!! Whoever did the sculpting was an artist for sure.

Don't mean to offend anyone!

Oh JustA, that last one - absolute gold. The number of times I have wanted to physically destroy a computer...

Now Ditzy, computers only do what they are told. Remember man developed the computer. So, you have to expect a certain amount of unruliness! 😂😂😂

I apologize for the Ditzy. I typed Fitzy but stupid autocorrect got me again. 

No, Ditzy just about sums me up.

Good dawg....Hold that while I start the nut.

15 hours ago, JUSTA6 said:

Good dawg....Hold that while I start the nut.

woof boss!

Beetles were originally made in Woofsburg...just sayin.'

Actually, Wolfsburg but why let facts get in the way of a joke.

BEST OF THE BEST!!!!

Green statement: No trees were harmed in the sending of this email, but billions of electrons were really agitated!!!!!!!

I can't stop thinkin about this one!!!!   Wifes gettin tired of hearing this, eveytime we eat.

Edited June 17, 20233 yr by JUSTA6

the boss agreed this is our bed !

 

On 6/16/2023 at 10:31 AM, JUSTA6 said:

I've been there! Other people saw me too so I have never been able to live this down! God what a fun weekend that was!!! 🤣🤣🤣

Know what else is funny? That's not the one I picked. I was looking at the guy fishing on the

grass! !!!

6 hours ago, njacobsen said:

Know what else is funny? That's not the one I picked. I was looking at the guy fishing on the

grass! !!!

Had me wondering why you would take a job as a secretary, in a grocery store, helping people take care of their paperwork!       Question??? Why the hairnet?  Must really get the shit flyin huh?

Can't believe he stopped...

Works for me....

 

Ha ha!!!  We used to have some wild weekends B4 I got married. But like most kids, not a lot of thought before doing things!!!!

🤣🤣🤣🤣

9 minutes ago, njacobsen said:

Ha ha!!!  We used to have some wild weekends B4 I got married. But like most kids, not a lot of thought before doing things!!!!

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Man - they are GOLD. JustA, take a bow.

 

 Pretty punny!

You can't blame anyone else if you fall in your driveway...

It's your own asphalt.

 
I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes.

It's all about raisin awareness.

 
I've started investing in stocks: beef, vegetable, chicken.

One day I hope to be a bouillianaire.

 
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock.

Now that's humerus.

 
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.

Now I have Heinzsight.

 
 
Did you know muffins spelled backwards is what you do when you take them out of the oven?


Scientifically, a raven has 17 primary wing feathers, the big ones at the end of the wing.
They are called pinion feathers. A crow has 16.

So, the difference between a raven and a crow is only a matter of a pinion.

 
I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes.
I turned to a local tribal leader and said, "That lizard is really funny!"

The leader replied, "That's not a lizard. He's a stand-up chameleon.

 
I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork.

I thought I nailed it but nobody saw it.

 
Just spoke with Bill Withers and told him "Ain't No Sunshine" is bad grammar.

He said, "I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know."

 
Singing in the shower is fine until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it's a soap opera.

 
The Black-Eyed Peas can sing us a song ...

But the chick peas can only hummus one.

 
Then there was the time Fruit of the Loom took Hanes to court...

It was a brief case.

 
How much does a chimney cost?

Nothing, it's on the house.

 
My friend said she wouldn't eat cow's tongue because it came out of a cow's mouth.

I gave her an egg.

 
Once upon a time there was a King who was only 12 inches tall.

He was a terrible King but he made a great ruler.

 
Ran out of toilet paper and now using lettuce leaves.

Today was just the tip of the iceberg, and tomorrow romaines to be seen.

 
My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables.

That's right...Jack and the beans talk.

 
I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants.

You probably have not heard of herbivore.

 
I was struggling to understand how lightning works ...

And then it struck me.

 
Six cows were smoking joints and playing poker.

That's right. The steaks were pretty high.

 
I went to the paint store to get thinner.

It didn't work.

Pessimist and a Dog
An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal pessimist who refused to be impressed with anything. This, surely, would impress him. He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.
As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.
The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word.
On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, “Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?”
“I sure did,” responded the pessimist. “He can’t swim.” 

5 hours ago, JUSTA6 said:

Pessimist and a Dog
An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.
He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal pessimist who refused to be impressed with anything. This, surely, would impress him. He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.
As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.
The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word.
On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, “Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?”
“I sure did,” responded the pessimist. “He can’t swim.” 

gota love pessimist's

Edited June 29, 20233 yr by 64 kiwi boni