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Don't EVER grow up!!!


JUSTA6

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4 hours ago, Wrongway said:

I remember Blackjack chewing gum lol. I use to chew it. Small shop in Berkley used to carry it. Tasted like black licorice! 

You can still find it. Usually on a rack with Teaberry and Beemans with it, always buy a bunch when I do.  

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When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

 

~  To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill  it.

 

~  When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.

 

~  Interviewer: "So, tell me about yourself."

    Me: "I'd rather not. I kinda want this job."

 

~  Cop: "Please step out of the car."

    Me: "I'm too drunk. You get in."

 

~  I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.

 

~  I had my patience tested. I'm negative. 

 

~  Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.

 

~  If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say "Did you bring the money?

 

~  When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.

 

~  Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 is new midnight.

 

~  I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.

 

~  I run like the winded.

 

~  I hate when a couple argues in public and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.

 

~  When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"

 

~  I don't remember much from last night, but the fact that I needed sunglasses to open the fridge this morning tells me it was awesome.

 

~  When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

 

~  I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

 

~  When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."

 

~  Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.

 

~  That moment when you walk into a spider web suddenly turns you into a karate master.

 

~  The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

 

~  My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.

Edited by JUSTA6
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3 hours ago, 64 kiwi boni said:

What’s the tri powered blue engine out of justA?😀

LMAO   Got yer Chevy hangin bro...   Car came with a thumpin 396.  It was a bracket racer.  I was rebuilding everything so putting the entire car back to Pontiac was the task.   The blue Tri is the 421 that's in the GTO now.  Sold the 396/trans, headers, exhaust for exactly what the 421 cost me.  Worked out well as you can see the limited space I have to work in.  Good shot of the Sunbird pullin the Jet boat. (coolest guy @ the boat ramp) Notice the Pontiac air deflector on my utilitiy trailer haulin my early 70's Rupp snowmobiles?:pontiac: Built the kids a Sunbird peddlecar to play with at shows.  Added a snowblower...:clapping:so it can be useful.

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Very cool mate, I note the location of your steering box. its way out the front, where as mines like Wrongways, smack bang under the 2 center ports🙄

Edited by 64 kiwi boni
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13 hours ago, 64 kiwi boni said:

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me. :rofl:

Hey Kiwi - I got few questions:

1. Is that a bad thing?

2. Have your ears stopped ringing?

3. Can you finally hear the TV?

4. Did you finally got the last word?

5. Does this mean you have to sleep with one eye open?

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6 hours ago, Frosty said:

Hey Kiwi - I got few questions:

1. Is that a bad thing?

2. Have your ears stopped ringing?

3. Can you finally hear the TV?

4. Did you finally got the last word?

5. Does this mean you have to sleep with one eye open?

Haha, to asnwer your questions mate

1 no

2 no

3 yes !!!

4 never will

5 sleep????

ah she misses me all the time, but thats because shes a rotten shot :rofl:

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On 10/15/2020 at 2:27 PM, 64 kiwi boni said:

Haha, to asnwer your questions mate

1 no

2 no

3 yes !!!

4 never will

5 sleep????

ah she misses me all the time, but thats because shes a rotten shot :rofl:

One or both of you are shooting blanks.

Perhaps her aim is improving though.

Be wary of strong drink mate! It can make you shoot at solicitors - and miss!

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Real groaners....you've been warned, we are all isolating so what else do you have to do anyway😆


1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'I'll serve you, but don't start anything.'

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: 'A beer please, and one for the road.'

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: 'Does this taste funny to you?'

7. 'Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.' 'That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.' 'Is it common?' Well, 'It's Not Unusual.'

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, 'I was artificially inseminated this morning.' 'I don't believe you,' says Dolly. 'It's true; no bull!' exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse. 'But why,' they asked, as they moved off. 'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.'

18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt , and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him 'Juan.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, 'They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) ..... A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.    :willy_nilly:

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6 hours ago, JUSTA6 said:

 

image.png.6b3b048ade50c1134235da0f9974f176.png

Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your kids!

 

image.png.37467714765e78a5c4c5323006100cda.png

....and they don't like you, just your money!

image.png.d74e891f8a01659d5520fdf91c77778b.png

How else do you raise a little ?

image.png.7b99c3aceae3ea93320422e8bd83a66a.png

Smart man!

image.png.0d4e5c8065caab93b64091920f38d035.png

Depends - is she trying to get away with wearing white?

 

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6 hours ago, JUSTA6 said:

Real groaners....you've been warned, we are all isolating so what else do you have to do anyway😆


1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'I'll serve you, but don't start anything.'

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: 'A beer please, and one for the road.'

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: 'Does this taste funny to you?'

7. 'Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.' 'That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.' 'Is it common?' Well, 'It's Not Unusual.'

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, 'I was artificially inseminated this morning.' 'I don't believe you,' says Dolly. 'It's true; no bull!' exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse. 'But why,' they asked, as they moved off. 'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.'

18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt , and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him 'Juan.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, 'They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) ..... A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.    :willy_nilly:

Dude.....I do the Dad jokes around here.

1. Two bed bugs fell in love. They got married in the spring.

2. No matter how far you push the envelope, it remains stationary.

3. A man was attacked by string instruments the other day, it was a brutal act of violins.

4. The definition of poor - when you have too much month at the end of your money

5. Catholic (n) - a person addicted to cats

6. I dreamed of drowning in an ocean of orange soda last night. It took me awhile to realize it was JUSTA Fanta sea!

7. A man walks into a hardware store and picks up a can of fly spray. He asks the store clerk, 'Is this good for wasps?". The clerk says "Not really, it kills them."

8 If you don't pay for skydiving, is that considered a free fall?

9. Would you believe that my neighbor was knocking on my door at 2:30 in the morning? Luckily I was still up playing the bagpipes!

10. Dart boards on the ceiling are disgusting. They make me throw up!

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