THE MIND OF CHAOS: Q&A with your friendly mod, [ChaosweaveR]

[[ChaosweaveR]]

More questions for FP's own Mr Wizard - the Chaos Meister himself

1. Why does a gynecologist leave the room when a woman undresses?

2. Why can't women put their mascara on with their mouth closed?

3. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say "hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?

4. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?

5. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

6. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a use by date?

7. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think i'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

8. What do people in China call their good plates?

9. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

10. If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn't he just have a pizza delivered?

11. Why is a person who handles money called a broker?

12. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

13. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?

14. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong? (Married men know the answer to this question)

15. Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it? (this is so true)

16. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?

17. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window? (this is also so very true)

1: Womyn are odd creatures. Like the deer, they are easily startled and quick to run away. Except they'd probably try to say you raped them.

2: They don't realize, but they're practicing for later that night.

3: It's all apart of Illuminati's great plan.

4: Probably not, but I sure as hell know that fucker will be annoying.

5: All the good shit doesn't need light, or you just don't want others to know. Now stop asking me where your dog went.

6: >implying that's even real mineral water

7: Had to be Polocks. They're basically the rednecks of Europe.

8: USA plates. #murica

9: Now you're just talking crazy, sir.

10: A pizza will only remind him of how forever alone he is and he hates being reminded of how much of a beta he is.

11: Because irony is always funny.

12: Tests only test your sanity.

13: I believe you answered your own question, sir. Now if you can excuse me, I need to oil up.

14: Somehow, someway...he will be told he is wrong. Damn wimenz.

15: You tend to believe something when you discover it yourself. Problem with all the stars is that all ones you see are actually non-existent anymore. Just like our dreams.

16: When I have one, I shall notify you of the answer to that. Or make a thread on /b/ and fish for answers.

17: Not all dogs. But very good point. Probably has to do with you driving at 45mph...or the person just has bad breath.

[Ringo64]

Going to use this one more time, Mike.

[havoc1482]

Free for all to use when words just cannot describe something.

[havoc1482]

7: Had to be Polocks. They're basically the rednecks of Europe.

[Ghost]

Going to use this one more time, Mike.

[Frosty]

A huge shout out to Havoc for giving us a couple of expressions that I am certain will go down in Internet public domain history. Thanks for the pictures, they will be well abused...especially here in FP.

[Frosty]

Give us to the simple answer to the question of life, the universe, and everything....

Don't Panic.

The simple answer is: 42

Now go get your towel, put the babel fish in your ear, and head to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe and start drinking Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters until that answer becomes much clearer.

[[ChaosweaveR]]

Don't Panic.

The simple answer is: 42

Now go get your towel, put the babel fish in your ear, and head to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe and start drinking Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters until that answer becomes much clearer.

Thought I missed something.

I was going to say Jäger, but that could work.

[havoc1482]

Oh Douglas Adams

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I547 using Tapatalk

[[ChaosweaveR]]

Nothing else? I wouldn't mind a more serious Q&A.

[havoc1482]

If Amy Rose was real, would you tap that?

[[ChaosweaveR]]

If Amy Rose was real, would you tap that?

Ugh, she seems more annoying than anything.

I mean, she probably would be great in the sack...but you'd have to still deal with her afterwards. So nope.avi

This however...I'd romp.

wait wat

[[ChaosweaveR]]

The silence I created is deafening.

[havoc1482]

[Frosty]

Kinda brings a whole new meaning to the expression "getting some tail."

[[ChaosweaveR]]

Kinda brings a whole new meaning to the expression "getting some tail."

Yes, sir! =]

[notallthere]

If you could have only one HP or Handling which one would you pick and why?

[havoc1482]

Hes gonna choose handling.

[[ChaosweaveR]]

If you could have only one HP or Handling which one would you pick and why?

If there's anything working on GT and open wheel race cars has taught me...suspension beats horsepower every time.

[havoc1482]

Nailed it.

[havoc1482]

I have a question. If these were your choices what would you take? A bone-stock model of your favorite car (Cannot be modified) or a 70's x-platform (like my Phoenix) with a blank-check type budget for limitless aftermarket work.

You can modify any of these cars (and their trims):

Pontiac Phoenix

Pontiac Ventura

Oldsmobile Omega

Buick Apollo

Buick Skylark

Chevrolet Nova

[notallthere]

Damn that could make a killer street car.

[[ChaosweaveR]]

I'd go for an Oldsmobile Omega and make a totally unconventional build.

Totally go the resto-mod route, modernizing the brakes, suspension, transmission, everything. But here's the kicker...making it into a road course machine would be too predictable...as much as I love those.

Why not something nobody has ever done? With an engine swap NOBODY will see coming, built for a purpose NOBODY will expect?

A rally car. That means AWD, a sequential 6 speed gear box and turbo powerplant. While most rally cars do have four cylinder engines, this will not. No, there's not going to be a V8, but a six cylinder. A six cylinder that has been used in many builds, race cars and street cars alike. An engine with much respect and amazing capabilities. That engine is the legendary 2JZGTE. For those that don't know, it's the twin turbo I6 from the 95-98 Toyota Supras.

I wouldn't have insane power either, I'd simply shoot for 450-500HP, which would be more than enough to make the car competitive if I decided to rally race it. The body would get big fender flares, I'd want a somewhat 80's Competition B rally look to it.

That's all off of the top of my head for now. I'll ponder on this more later.

[[ChaosweaveR]]

Thread bump.

[notallthere]

Can you describe the use of an elevator without sounding sexual.