Hey...I'm not clingy. :/

And lol. That vid...I couldn't take the drama in the storyline seriously at all with them moving like that.

cheer up big man!

Stop deleting my posts and I will.

be good and I wont have to.

PFFFFFFT. I was being nice to him.

<3 you Joe.

*BROFIST*

PFFFFFFT. I was being nice to him.

I know thats what worries me.

Lisa broke up with me.

Awesome.

Goddamnit...

I'm sick.

Woo hooo!!!! It's snowing again!!!

Cheep up Chaos.... now's the time to dive into the metal vault, crank it to 10 and bother the neighbours!!!

I've been listening to Opeth for the most part...

Listening to Blackwater Park currently.

Sorry chris. Something just aren't meant to be, even though it may seem like it At the moment.

But now is the time to do what you want!

' date='Dec 7 2010, 08:17 PM' post='43368']

Lisa broke up with me.

Awesome.

Goddamnit...

D: <-- the face of shock and sad

Um. On the bright side:

I'm sorry, Chris. I'm here if you need to talk!

Haha, thanks Sadie.

I'm just confuzzled by women sometimes...I mean, Lisa and myself were so happy...

She said to me almost two weeks ago, she wanted a break, she was feeling depressed. However, we still kept in touch. Talking on FB, texting and such...and last night, she says she feels that I was a better friend versus a boyfriend. I just feel so lost. Lisa was overjoyed to have me, and as was I...

Ugh, I don't get it...

Its okay hunny youve got me

my back hurts. its a pain when i try to move. and sorry to hear Chaos.

oh i dont even want to hear pain..softball is killllliiing me!

' date='Dec 8 2010, 12:32 PM' post='43413']

Haha, thanks Sadie.

I'm just confuzzled by women sometimes...I mean, Lisa and myself were so happy...

She said to me almost two weeks ago, she wanted a break, she was feeling depressed. However, we still kept in touch. Talking on FB, texting and such...and last night, she says she feels that I was a better friend versus a boyfriend. I just feel so lost. Lisa was overjoyed to have me, and as was I...

Ugh, I don't get it...

Relationships can be so wonderful, but also such a huge pain in the ass. Communication can be so hard, and not only that but finding someone who is actually on the same page and level as you, intellectually, mentally, physically, and every other way that you need from a significant other. It is quite a search and when you find whoever it is you're meant to be with, it is incredible.

Granted, I surely have not found that person and only speak from observation. For example, my dad and stepmom are the happiest couple I have ever seen. They are almost always on the same page and have the ability to communicate anything to one another. They are so in-tune with each other. There were many bumps along the way to get to where they are now, but after ten years, they are stronger than ever. I hope I am lucky enough to find the person that is like that to me some day Everyone deserves that happiness!

And just so you know... women may be crazy (I speak from experience) but sometimes I think men are just as nuts! Just in very, very different ways.

Relationships can be so wonderful, but also such a huge pain in the ass. Communication can be so hard, and not only that but finding someone who is actually on the same page and level as you, intellectually, mentally, physically, and every other way that you need from a significant other. It is quite a search and when you find whoever it is you're meant to be with, it is incredible.

Granted, I surely have not found that person and only speak from observation. For example, my dad and stepmom are the happiest couple I have ever seen. They are almost always on the same page and have the ability to communicate anything to one another. They are so in-tune with each other. There were many bumps along the way to get to where they are now, but after ten years, they are stronger than ever. I hope I am lucky enough to find the person that is like that to me some day Everyone deserves that happiness!

And just so you know... women may be crazy (I speak from experience) but sometimes I think men are just as nuts! Just in very, very different ways.

I suppose...

Currently, I am speaking with Lisa, via chat...I'm not liking what I'm hearing. Yet...I'm not mad. I can't be mad. I've never felt love so pure from one person. I just can't be mad at Lisa, I don't have the heart...

She's moving into an apartment with her ex, down in Maryland.

I was told, "If you love someone enough, let them go. Love always finds its way back,"

------------------------

I told Lisa this: "Follow your heart, Lisa. I can't make your decisions. "If you love someone enough, let them go. Love always finds its way back," I love you, and I'll always have a place in my heart for you. If you come back, I will greet you with open arms, and my love once more. Follow your heart and do what is best for you, Lisa."

As of right now, a certain song lyric sums up my feelings at the moment:

"So falls the winter snow,

So vivid yet lifeless out of control,

Dark days and all that comes with it,

What feels like a lifetime mourned,

And how I awaited deliverance,

For what seemed a lifetime lost,

And days turn to years..."

From "When Kingdoms Fall" by Evergrey

I wish I could help you somehow. I hate this for you. I don't enjoy seeing people hurt, even if I've only known them a few short weeks.

Ultimately, I think you are doing all that you can do and letting her know how you feel. At least she will have no doubt in her mind about how you feel for her. For better or for worse.

You're allowed to be a little mad for surely she is breaking your heart, but at least you are wise enough to see that anger isn't the best option. It wouldn't get you anywhere voicing whatever frustration you feel to her because her mind has seemingly been made up. Madness and eventual yelling are never the best options anyway. You are being a lot more mature than I probably would be in your situation. Again, I'm here if you need anything. I'm a good listener if nothing else!

E-hugs for Chris!

I wish I could help you somehow. I hate this for you. I don't enjoy seeing people hurt, even if I've only known them a few short weeks.

Ultimately, I think you are doing all that you can do and letting her know how you feel. At least she will have no doubt in her mind about how you feel for her. For better or for worse.

You're allowed to be a little mad for surely she is breaking your heart, but at least you are wise enough to see that anger isn't the best option. It wouldn't get you anywhere voicing whatever frustration you feel to her because her mind has seemingly been made up. Madness and eventual yelling are never the best options anyway. You are being a lot more mature than I probably would be in your situation. Again, I'm here if you need anything. I'm a good listener if nothing else!

E-hugs for Chris!

Yes, Lisa's mind is made up. Of course, there's the anger inside of me because of my broken heart. But (ironically) I hate fighting, arguing, yelling or anything. The way we separated...while I don't like it in the least, it was peaceful.

For now, I just sit in front of my computer screen, and my eyes welled up, listening to music. It's not like I can do much else, especially so late at night. I just feel so unmotivated now, but I can't let that feeling linger. I'm used to rejection, but not like this. Not like this.

My throat feels raspy and dry, I'm grateful I have a keyboard right now, because I sure as hell can't talk right now. I'm just going to have to keep trudging forward in life, be as it may...it's not easy.

To be honest, Lisa helped me out of my sorrow after Sal passed away, now with Lisa out of the picture...I feel alone. That sorrow...I feel it creeping around me...

Goddamnit...I hate this.

I know this is hard and I know I can tell you all sorts of things to try and make you feel better or feel less alone, but none of it will necessarily help. This is something you're going to have to deal with primarily by yourself, but also through writing (if you're into that and/or it helps you, I know it helps me a lot), music, your car or talking to others you are close to-- other activities you revel in and greatly enjoy. Having this get easier will take a lot of time. Thinking of Lisa might never be an easy thing to do, but some day it will get better. Do not let the sorrow take over. Sadness and mourning of course are fine, expected, normal, but don't let the vicious spiral pull you down. It can be easy to get caught up in the frustration and even hopelessness that this whole ordeal is leaving you with.

I guess Lone Wolf applies to more than one aspect of your life now. :\

Lone Wolf...

I would guess so.

I'm so used to being alone, you'd think I know exactly how to handle it, huh? Hmmm...

Well...at least I slept. My job will help get my mind off some of my issues. Especially since the craphole has gotten new management, and big changes are being made, and I've actually been making more money since that.

Meh...

WOW! really?! this was just a huge slap in the face to me. I seriously am done.

Whats wrong M?

Bloody hell...