Yo yo yo...we are here again. Left Cairns at 0600, arrived Brisbane and by the time we endured the secondary Customs body cavity searches and processing, by the time we walked quickly to our next departure gate, as we arrived it was time to start boarding. Snatched a couple of winks of light snoozing whilst glued to the seat but mercifully only for 3 hours. Rough landing at Queenstown felt like sitting in a 60s Pontiac and then being pushed over a cliff and just sitting there as it hit the ground. Pilot had to brake quite violently in order to keep the thing straight as we pulled up. New Zealand drivers...might as well get used to them!

It was 6°C as we alighted the plane...with a light drizzle. Got the cab in the tropics at 0430 and that afternoon there's snow on the mountains, freezing cold & wet.

Picked up the hire car. We thought we'd be getting an old Corolla like last time. Uh uh. This time it's a very lightly used Mitsubishi Outlander. In the rain we couldn't access the rear hatch to chuck the suitcases in. I tell her I'll move it forward a little. I jump in and there's nowhere to put the key. I said key - it's a fob. I see a 'Start' button. No start. Dashboard message says to apply brake pedal first. It starts. I look at the funny looking stumpy 'thing' that apparently selects whether I go forward or backwards. I bumble it into D and move forward, all the while Her Indoors is out in the rain wondering what the f@#k I'm doing in there, warm & dry. As we drive to our initial hotel booking in Cardrona I'm amazed at the sheer amount of information that the dashboard (AND the iPad like central screen AND the endless array of buttons that are festooned seemingly everywhere) wants me to look at. I'm obviously well out of touch with modern cars. It buzzes and vibrates the wheel when I get too close to a white line - on a New Zealand twisty narrow mountain road, you have to cross the white line now & again. Otherwise it drives superbly but I'd hate to be under the hood when the owner says that there's something wrong with it. These modern cars - drive them for 5 years and then move on.

I'll send some pics tomorrow - too wasted now. Need to sleep.

Welcome to New Zealand mate 

Day 2. Left Cardrona and are now in Te Anau. For those unfamiliar, we're near the west coast on the South Island. I made this same observation last time: for sheer stunning beauty and postcard perfect rural scenes you would be lucky to get better. I am constantly amazed at how manicured everything looks - even farmland where the rolling green hills meld with small stands of poplars, all the fences are straight and in good condition where zillions of cows & sheep graze seemingly contentedly. Bloody freezing cold but nice & sunny. Am looking forward to a coupla pints of Guinness tonight. Off to Invercargill - probably most famous for World's Fastest Indian. I believe Bert's Indian bike is in a museum there. I'll take some pics.

 

That's a Chrysler out the front of our digs. Like most Mopars, it no longer works properly 😁.

If you are caught speeding, this is what happens to you. Then they throw you in the high security Supermax prison. Weirdoes.

Edited September 27, 20241 yr by Fitzy

Looks like a good time! Great pics bud.

Dont you know fitzy ? All the farmers go out at night and cut the grass with scissors , wash the sheep and tighten the fences , and are back in bed before sun raise 

Pfft those south islanders are soooo way behind us north islanders !!! We have the guillotine 

Edited September 27, 20241 yr by 64 kiwi boni

That's funny and I believe every word - the place is so damn PRETTY!

We drove through more beautiful country on practically deserted roads and are staying in Invercargill - famously noted as "The Arsehole Of The World" by Mick Jagger back in 1965. It's changed a bit since then, although like the rest of the country it still LOOKS like 1965 except for the odd chain store and McDonalds.

Burt Munro's bike (it's actually one of 5 replicas made for the film) and other assorted trinkets are displayed throughout a major hardware store. As you stroll around the aisles you come across the occasional little display of old motorbikes, other old machinery, cash registers and all sorts of yesteryear memorabilia.                      Windy as hell here. If it wasn't for the constant gale, the temperature would almost be fit for human habitation.

Check out the Indian outboard motor that is an art deco work of art, the ancient chainsaw & hedge trimmer and that crazy Corvair powered bike.

 

Edited September 28, 20241 yr by Fitzy

The Indian outboard is wild man, but that Corvair powered bike is awesome!!! Love the twisted metal mustache bar and the Offenhauser cover!

That corvair bike is very cool 

The Indian outboard: only 1500 were ever made and that one is 1 of 2 in New Zealand. It needs to have that dent fixed and be polished to the max and can then sit in your bar at home. A work of art.

No pics today as I drove for most of it. In Clyde tonight. It's 20°C! I'm in T shirt and bare feet although once the sun goes down it'll cool. Went down to Bluff this morning which is just about the furthest south you can go in mainland NZ. The houses in Bluff looked like they were built in the 20s and that was the last time anything got built. Some lovely old art deco ones but the place is mainly industrial re fishing, oysters and a harbour for container freight. It was gloomy, wet, windy & cold AND couldn't get a coffee anywhere.

Being Sunday, lots of classics on the road today. I saw a stunning Nash leadsled and some other Yankers amongst plenty of Oz muscle. I have seen no less than 3 Dodge Challenger SRT8s since we arrived. They must hide them in cornflake boxes! Kiwi must eat lotsa cornflakes...

Drove through endless perfect countryside again on mainly deserted roads - I won't bore you with many more of those pics - you have an idea of what the place looks like already.

did some one say Bluff Oysters ????????

mate !!! i hope you grabbbed me some !!!! they are the biggest yummy as ones !!!!

Uh, no I did not. I cannot stand oysters for a start plus they'd be a bit manky by the time we get to Taupo. Soz.

Drove through the mountains (ho hum - more breathtaking scenery) from Clyde to Oamaru - you may or may not recall but we were here last trip too: Steampunk Capital Of NZ. I just had to take another pic of that crazy locomotive: I love the imagination that went into it. Oamaru has a 'Victorian' precinct which we strolled through again.

The little place we're staying at - as I walked past the owner's garage I see this Mustang parked in there. The badge in the centre of the trunk lid says 427. Seems like everyone in NZ has an old car or three either gently rusting away or fixed up and gleaming.

A few notes on the AWD Mitsubishi Outlander that we hired. I never gave one of these things a second glance nor would I ever want one but I am impressed. It returned sub 6 litres per 100km fuel consumption today, engine sits around 1500rpm at 100 km/h and CVT transmission which I never liked due to what I have read is actually a very efficient unit. Overtaking is a snap, hills don't bother it in the least and trans keeps the engine revs low whenever it can. Engine is a 2.5 and is more than ample for the task. No - it won't smoke the tyres in the first 3 gears, there are no stripes or scoops but it doesn't break down every third day, so you guys wouldn't like one!

Staying Akaroa next 2 nights. Was also here last time. Picturesque little French influenced village built around a lake. I got beer, so I'm okay for 2 days. The attached pic does not do justice to the scene from the road at all- you'll just have to take my word for it that it's just so pleasant.

Petrol is around about $2.30 - $2.50 a litre here, so when you're doing long distances (like we are) fuel economy matters. I got it down to 5.2 litres/100km today which is astounding for a sizeable 4WD SUV. Even with that frugality, you have to remember that when converted to dollars (based on $2.40 per litre as an average) it's costing about $12.50 for 100km, or 12.5c per km. That doesn't sound like much but a km will disappear in about 36 seconds. It adds up.

Of course, in relative terms I could talk about beers consumed per hour but I don't want to do the calculation. Easier to just accept that's the way of the universe.

Beer is not just for breakfast anymore Fitzy. I think that is pretty universal. 

Today we drove through the mountains via Arthur's Pass and on to the northwest coast. Absolutely breathtaking snow capped mountains separated by lush valleys were the order of the day and then we ended up at the appropriately named Greymouth. Grey is the colour of the sea, the sky and the town. We walked in a light mist into town for a look and then the rain (also grey) decided to give us a light dampening as we trudged back to the hotel. I am now thawing out with a beer and some corn chips AND with the heater on.

The pics: see the little blue car on the back of that low loader? Look how narrow those little one way bridges are - you might squeeze a fullsize Poncho through one. They are a regular occurrence, even on State Highways. Must be fun at night approaching a one way bridge and noting the truck coming the other way. Even if you have right of way, I'd think it prudent to simply let the trucker go first.

And the last sign: I saw this one and thought immediately of Frosty and his fancy purple car. It almost says "Hey Frosty (but only Frosty,) time to do some burnouts! Everyone else has to drive sensibly."

Yes officer, I was obeying the law. The sign TOLD me to do a burn out and yes - my name is Frosty? How did you know? Why do you ask?

Edited October 3, 20241 yr by Frosty

Police response: "Well Sir, we noticed a fat man in a red T shirt driving a purple car. If nothing else, it's a crime of fashion."

This morning I drew back the curtain and it was a brilliant sunny day. What last night was a dreary wet cold shithole was now a jewel sparkling in the light. We drove north to Westport along a beautiful spectacular coastal road (even the coastline is spectacular in this damn country) and then through the mountains to the northeast coast and are staying in Nelson for 2 nights. Am currently quaffing a coupla beers before heading out for Turkish tonight. I've already planned fish & chips for lunch tomorrow and Indian tomorrow night. 

Beer - not only is it nectar of the gods but the penultimate leveller of all cuisines.

Okay, so now I am a fashion felon? I thought that made me a man! Plaid is a color - to a man. Periwinkle is not! Okay so I’m not a fashionista!

Oh look - BEER!

Edited October 4, 20241 yr by Frosty

Nelson to Kaikoura today - on the northeast coast. One more night on the South island before we fly to Wellington on the North Tue afternoon. This place is famous for crayfish so of course I had to give it a go. It was okay. Very pricey and although there's no such thing as bad crayfish - I've had much better. Nice surf beach with snowcapped mountains in the background.

Saw yet another SRT Challenger yesterday. Ho - hum, wish there was a Corolla to look at, as there seem to be less of them than Dodges. There's always a few classic cars getting about, mostly Yankers but a few brave souls insist on keeping old English machinery putting along. Not much Euro stuff but plenty of factory hot rice burners around. New Zealand always had a liberal 'grey import' policy which allowed them access to all sorts of Jap exotica. In Oz, you had to sell your children in order to import one and then hope it could be registered for legal use.

Can you justA leave that rain in the south Island please mate ! 

justA bring the warm with you in the plane 

The only rain we have experienced was at Queenstown upon our arrival, Greymouth and a sprinkle at Nelson. Whatever rain is coming up north is due to forces beyond our control. Get your wellies ready! 

Spent the day at Hanmer Springs which is far more 'resorty' than I was prepared for. Lots of peeps, lots of nasty noisy children (school holidays) but a few pints of Murphy's Stout kept me sane.

Looking forward to catching up with Kiwi THIS coming weekend. 

There WILL be beer.

There WILL be bits of Challenger rubber on the road.

There will be pics of us sinking slowly into an alcohol fuelled debauchery. There WILL be titty girls...What? No titty girls? Oh...there WILL be pics of Kiwi's tits out!

1 hour ago, Fitzy said:

The only rain we have experienced was at Queenstown upon our arrival, Greymouth and a sprinkle at Nelson. Whatever rain is coming up north is due to forces beyond our control. Get your wellies ready! 

Spent the day at Hanmer Springs which is far more 'resorty' than I was prepared for. Lots of peeps, lots of nasty noisy children (school holidays) but a few pints of Murphy's Stout kept me sane.

Looking forward to catching up with Kiwi THIS coming weekend. 

There WILL be beer.

There WILL be bits of Challenger rubber on the road.

There will be pics of us sinking slowly into an alcohol fuelled debauchery. There WILL be titty girls...What? No titty girls? Oh...there WILL be pics of Kiwi's tits out!

 

What ? 
how many stouts did you have in hanmer ? 
how many dagmirs am I holding up ???

Buzzzzzz 

wrong answer fitzy !!!

Edited October 7, 20241 yr by 64 kiwi boni

Exterminate 

Fitzy got hammered in Hammer Springs. Seems appropriate.

We expect hellish burn out photos like this...

 

Oh - and for the weak of stomach - no man-boob pictures please.

 

Edited October 7, 20241 yr by Frosty

The er, 'thing' that served me Murphy's turned out to be a transitional female. I only know this because of her tits. Otherwise, 'she' was all man. I suppose that combined with 3 pints of stout on an empty stomach made me think of more tits out this weekend. Upon reflection, this may have been a mistake.

Flew into Wellington this arvo. Windy, you say? I know Wello is renowned for being the 'windy' city, but today it's positively howling. Exciting landing coming in too.

Off to spend 2 nights with Karen's sister tomorrow. Pray for me. Fortunately, she likes a drink so at least I'll have a serious drinking buddy instead of being made to temper myself.

Saw 2 more Challengers today. Really? Is there a 2 for 1 deal on, or something? We picked up our Corolla rental this arvo so at least I can look at that as I park in a sea of Challengers.

Here we are in...um, somewhere near a little joint called Hunterville - out in the sticks. I say sticks but we are surrounded by beautiful rolling green hills and sheep.

The Corolla we rented is 5 years old with 100k km on the clock but still drives superbly. It's a 2 litre with CVT and once again I have to comment on how marvellously efficient these trannys are. In ideal circumstances (flat road, gentle right foot) I can get engine down to 1500rpm at 100 km/h yet still have instant power when accelerating or going uphill. Very economical and a pleasure to drive. Engine seems to be happy anywhere between 1500 & 2000rpm - once the preserve of big lazy V8s but now a reality in much smaller engines. I just KNOW you guys are impressed!