1. I took my suit to the cleaners, who wanted to charge me $40, so I gave it to the charity shop next door.  They cleaned and pressed it and put it in the window. I bought it back for $15.

 

2. My wife and I decided to never go to bed angry.  We've been awake since Tuesday.

 

3. Someone just gave me half a peace sign.  Weird, eh?

 

4. Growing up, we knew Dad had had enough when we heard the recliner slam down.  Kids these days will never know that fear.

 

5. She said she missed me.  Normally that would be good but she's reloading.

 

6. Being old is when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go too.

 

7. I now know how it will all end for me:  One of my kids will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

 

8. I met my wife at a singles night.  I was surprised because I thought she was home with the kids.

 

9. Yesterday I bought a world map, gave my wife a dart, and said, "Throw this and wherever it lands, I will take you on vacation."  We're spending 3 weeks behind the fridge.

 

10. As I walk through the "Valley of the Shadow of Death", I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps

Don't blame me i just find this stuff LOL

Ahh...But your world doesn't change for the better if you stay in bed. Someone in Europe or Asia is trying to ruin your day. So unfortunately the coffee doesn't get made when bed, unless you got one of Dem fancy ones!

2 hours ago, indymanjoe said:

this made me really smile Joe 

Is this one of you guys?

Frosty? JustA? Kiwi after letting himself go?

Edited August 21, 20241 yr by Fitzy

3 hours ago, Fitzy said:

Is this one of you guys?

Frosty? JustA? Kiwi after letting himself go?

ok , yeah yeah yeah , i will poke his eyes out when he visits !!! you can all stop private meassaging me now !!

 

Ya, their kinda touchy sometimes!

🤣🤣🤣🤣

11 hours ago, Fitzy said:

....and you lived? Wow!

How long before you could walk and eat solid food again?

9 hours ago, Frosty said:

....and you lived? Wow!

How long before you could walk and eat solid food again?

Frosty, if I had a wife who looked like that, she could bash me up every night and I'd love it.

5 hours ago, Fitzy said:

Frosty, if I had a wife who looked like that, she could bash me up every night and I'd love it.

Beat me! Whip me! Make me feel real cheap! Make me write bad checks! Make me say Ruth! But most of all keep my conscience so I can enjoy it!

You are one of those guys, huh?!?