WHAT DOGS & CATS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.......

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

8:00 am-Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am-A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am-A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am-Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm-Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm-Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm-Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm-Milk Bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm-Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm-Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm-Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash

or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I

nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt

to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.

I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly

demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made

condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was

placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could

hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement

was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how

to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try

this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges.. He is regularly released - and seems

to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with

the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My

captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is

safe.. For now.................

"He is regularly released - and is more than willing to return home. He is obviously retarded."

Fucking win. awesome find Joe.

HAHAHAHHAHA

this is freaking great!!

Dude, I almost fell off of my bed laughing so hard from this

HAHA awesome! Dogs are retarded.

HAHA awesome! Dogs are retarded.

You feed a dog, and it's your friend for life, it takes a lot more to get a cat to like you, and a cat actually has it's own personality

Great now I have to get beer off my monitor. That was hilarious.

Now everytime I see my dog all I see is XXXXXX my favourite thing.

Great now I have to get beer off my monitor. That was hilarious.

Now everytime I see my dog all I see is XXXXXX my favourite thing.

I love how the cat thinks hes a prisoner of war.