Are you a fun loving person. Willing to do just about anything? Do not care about your personal safety, mental health, or stable financial future. Then you could be the right person for our company. We have one opening for the right individual who is willing to be my stunt man. I am sick and tired of doing my own stunts and I need you. The pay really sucks and benefits are non-existent but I do have a small first aid kit and the ability to make your pain go away with laughter. You will be required to: run into traffic, jump off small buildings, tease really mean dogs and pick fights with random people in public. Secondary duties could be holding targets for competition shooting and taking the hit when I say something stupid to the better half. Please apply now and I will call you for an interview. This could be a lunch interview if you are buying.

but what about a 401k?

but what about a 401k?

he said benefits were non-existent

Maybe, but you supply food and drinks, and a nutcup. Lol!

Maybe, but you supply food and drinks, and a nutcup. Lol!

Okay

Saltines, water, thimble with a bandage.

How big is the bandage if we have to catch bullets, arrows, howitzer shells, scud missiles, and the occasional javelin? Is the administering of Bactin involved in the post trauma evaluation?

For safety purposes, are you required to wear a "I'm with Stupid!" T-shirt at all times while your prospective employee engages in the various job elements you've described?

Are we required to like poutine and Moose Head beer or just simply required to be able to get it down without public regurgitation?

Are peeing for distance competitions going to be a regular thing that will require us to train frequently?

Do we have to be able to speak French fluently or can we simply sound like a very bad Maurice Chevalier whenever we are in Quebec or when you are making fun of any Frenchies?

Bandage is a finger tip bandaid, and we do not use bactin but rubbing alcohol.

You do not have to wear the shirt but you do haveto be on guard at all times.

You can like poutine if you would like but if you like Moose Head lager then you need not apply.

Peeing for distance is a daily occurance.

No French actually you are encouraged to hate the French.

Am I allowed to actually drink the rubbing alcohol or is it strictly for topical purposes?

I was under the impression that you had to wear the "I'm with Stupid" T-shirt as a public safety warning.

No one likes Moose Head beer.

I already hate the French do I get the job?