The Official Useless Post Thread Pt. 2

[Ringo64]

Question is, do you have a pool?

[Ghost]

no pool...yet. yours? the almighty question is, what size is that lot?

[Ringo64]

5 hours ago, Ghost said:

no pool...yet. yours? the almighty question is, what size is that lot?

Of course I have a pool, I'm in Florida  . Just a quarter of an acre here, more if I include the lake. How bout you? 

[Ghost]

lake? well thats not fair, youre in the swamp lands.  youre gonna claim everything as your property. and same size too! awesome. now we know you can host a Pontiac meet at your place.

[Frosty]

Come to think of it, does Ringo ever go to a Pontiac show these day? Especially since he has the (dare I say it?) Camaro?

[Ringo64]

5 hours ago, Ghost said:

lake? well thats not fair, youre in the swamp lands.  youre gonna claim everything as your property. and same size too! awesome. now we know you can host a Pontiac meet at your place.

 

19 minutes ago, Frosty said:

Come to think of it, does Ringo ever go to a Pontiac show these day? Especially since he has the (dare I say it?) Camaro?

I still go to Pontiac shows. Haven't entered in any in a long time however.

[Frosty]

You need to post pictures of them more often then sunshine. That way Ghost knows you are alive and contracting melanoma or wearing SPF 1000. 

[Ringo64]

5 minutes ago, Frosty said:

You need to post pictures of them more often then sunshine. That way Ghost knows you are alive and contracting melanoma or wearing SPF 1000. 

More like spf 100000000 with my Irish fair skin

[Ghost]

when you guys paint rooms, do you guys get a scent of bubble gum or is it just me? 

[Ringo64]

Uhh, I smell paint when I paint... Not sure what you're doing

[Ghost]

[Professur]

I'm here to paint cars and chew bubblegum ... and I'm all out of gum.

[notallthere]

Depending on the Paint the low VOC paints will have a sweet smell to them.  I have heard of bubble gum, candy floss, etc from some people. 

[Frosty]

Candy apple red little boys? Root beer brown perhaps?

[TWO LANE BLACK TOP]

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog..

Is a zebra white with black stripes or is it black with white stripes??

If a cow says moo then does a moose say cow ?

Can you eat more with two forks than you can with one fork ?

These peanuts are making me thirsty..

What do they call Canadian geese in Canada ? Just geese or Canadian geese..

Does anyone really just look at Playboy for the articles ?

If your cat goes out and kills a rat then chokes to death on it..While eating it..Did the cat kill the rat..Or did the rat kill the cat ??

Sex stone = F@#king rock..

No matter wherever you may go..There you are....

[Ringo64]

So many worthwhile questions to ponder and think about through life...

[Frosty]

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog..      IBM Selectric typewriter - circa 1969

Is a zebra white with black stripes or is it black with white stripes??   Doesn't matter - he still blew the damn call. It was clearly pass interference.

If a cow says moo then does a moose say cow ?   Never call a moose a cow, you won't live long if you do.

Can you eat more with two forks than you can with one fork ?  Depends....if they separate vs. stacked one on top of the other..

These peanuts are making me thirsty..   That's their job, so you will drink more expensive beer at the ball game!

What do they call Canadian geese in Canada ? Just geese or Canadian geese..  F$*cking carp with wings - like everyone else

Does anyone really just look at Playboy for the articles ?     Aw hell no!

If your cat goes out and kills a rat then chokes to death on it..While eating it..Did the cat kill the rat..Or did the rat kill the cat ??  The cat killed the rat, the rat killing the cat was merely the rat's last act of defiance.

Sex stone = F@#king rock..said as it cracks your front windshield

No matter wherever you may go..There you are...   From " The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension" (probably another of Pro's favorite movies).

Edited April 20, 2017 by Frosty

[TWO LANE BLACK TOP]

1) Correct uses all the letters in the alphabet

2)  Jury still out on that one.....although great answer

3)  Agree  Have yet to see a wild moose here in NC

4) Can eat a whole grocery store with one fork until you get to the soup aisle then you need a spoon

5)  Saw it on Seinfeld just seemed like a cool thing to say.. Like the beer answer better

6)  Have not spoke to any Canadians lately..Will ask when I do...Mrs. Two Lane loves geese so that pretty much makes me a geese lover too especially when looking at them down the barrel of my shotgun

7)  Learned how to read with Playboy  LOL

8)  Like that answer too...Will float that one out to the local unemployed brain trust that hangs out at the corner store to see what they come up with..

9)  Or hits me in the chest when riding my motorcycle

10)  Have not seen the movie will take your word for it.

 

Edited April 21, 2017 by TWO LANE BLACK TOP

[TWO LANE BLACK TOP]

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers ?

How long is a piece of string ?

Pack my bag with five dozen liquor jugs..

How far west can you go before you are heading east??

What is the difference between regular ketchup and fancy ketchup?

Why is it that the professor on Gilligans island can make a radio out of a coconut but can't fix a hole in a boat?

Crazy Frederick bought many very exquisite opal jewels

Why does Hawaii have an interstate highway??

Why do adults have trouble opening childproof bottles?

What do people in China call their good plates?

If you buy an egg and half for a penny and half how much does it cost to buy 100 eggs?

Which one is better sliced bread or individually wrapped cheese slices??

 

Edited April 21, 2017 by TWO LANE BLACK TOP

[Frosty]

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers ?   Yes but I am not so certain about veggans.

How long is a piece of string ?    How long does it need to be?

Pack my bag with five dozen liquor jugs.  I see you live in NC and you've been to GE's place to get some of his stump water too !!!!!

How far west can you go before you are heading east??  You will always be heading west. However, technically east meets west at the International Date line.

What is the difference between regular ketchup and fancy ketchup?  The price

Why is it that the professor on Gilligans island can make a radio out of a coconut but can't fix a hole in a boat?  The professor is the classic definition of an "intellectual", someone who was educated above his intelligence. Therefore he had no common sense. Plus the script writers never asked him to fix the boat. The crew wasn't smart enough either.

Crazy Frederick bought many very exquisite opal jewels.  He obviously can afford his eccentricities. I am not sure that makes him crazy just wealthy.

Why does Hawaii have an interstate highway??  The Interstate Highway System is officially called the The Dwight D. Eisenhower National System of Interstate and Defense Highways. Since defense is part of its purpose, the interstate highways in Hawaii connect to several military and naval installations on the island of Oahu plus the state capital of Honolulu. There are also interstate highways in Alaska and Puerto Rico.

Why do adults have trouble opening childproof bottles?  Either arthritis, dementia, alzheimer's, or we act so much like kids that it works on us too.

What do people in China call their good plates?  餐具 (literally translated means dinnerware)

If you buy an egg and half for a penny and half how much does it cost to buy 100 eggs? The obvious answer would imply 100 but that would wrong since given the egg and a half premise means you can only get whole eggs in multiples of 3. Therefore you can get 99 or 102 eggs, not 100. So you cannot buy exactly 100 eggs in the first place.

Which one is better sliced bread or individually wrapped cheese slices??  Individually wrapped cheese slices of course since just about everything is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Did you ever wonder what slice bread replaced as the greatest thing since? Hmmmm.....

Edited April 21, 2017 by Frosty

[Frosty]

If an African elephant comes to America, does it become an African-American elephant?

If crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime? What they pay me should be.

Do fish get thirsty?

Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words?

Can you cry under water?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

How can you tell when it is time to tune your bagpipes?

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

If you have a cold Hot Pocket, is it just a pocket?

Why is the show called Unsolved Mysteries? If they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries at all.

Do penguins have knees?

What do chickens think we taste like?

How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit, if there was an emergency surely you would not stay standing there?

In libraries, do they put the Bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?

Why do they call it 'chili' if it's hot?

Why do they call it 'life' insurance, especially when it doesn’t pay off until you are dead?

If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk?

Why do you give your two cents worth when it's only a penny for your thoughts?

Restaurant rules - No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service. What if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant serve them? Laughter would still be expected.

If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe?

Why do we need training bras? What do we need to teach them?

Why do you feet smell and your nose runs?

When the French swear do they say pardon my English?

How did Walt Disney figure out how to make people pay to stand in lines all day and then come back for more the next day?

If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up" comedy?

What happened to Old Zealand?

[notallthere]

The debate is not to read and answer but to close this and look at boobs.

[TWO LANE BLACK TOP]

If an African elephant comes to America, does it become an African-American elephant??  Would an elephant really know the difference ?

If crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime??  I agree what they pay me should be..

Do fish get thirsty??     Fresh water fish don't drink water they absorb it thru their skin....Salt water fish drink water but use their gills to remove the salt. Weather or not they feel actual thirst  or not is any ones guess..

Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words??  Pretty sure the name hummingbird comes from the sound their wings make when they are hovering or flying or whatever it is that they do...So yes they do "hum" because they don't know the words...

Can you cry under water ??  Yes If you are on a submarine..

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle??    It does... Have you ever tried to use 5 year old industrial type glue that was in a container that wasn't sealed good the last time it was used ?

How can you tell when it's time to tune your bagpipes??    Next question please....

How do you Write zero in Roman numerals ??    The number zero doesn't have its own roman numeral instead uses the latin word for none..

If you have a cold Hot Pocket , is it just a pocket??   Still a hot Pocket because it says so on the box,even while in the freezer..

Why is the show called Unsolved Mysteries??   Again I agree if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries..

Do Penguins have knees??   Have never seen a penguin sit down..Even while sitting on their eggs...But yes they do they're covered by feathers so they are not readily seen..

What do chickens think we taste like??  Chicken... Everything tastes like chicken..

How come people tell you not to stand in front of the emergency exit, Surely if there was an emergency you would not stay standing there.....That one answers itself..

In libraries do they put the bible in the fiction or non fiction section??  Non fiction with all the other books on psychology and philosophy and religion..but with most public libraries being publicly funded might not be there at all..

Why do they call "chili if it's hot??   Probably named after the peppers not chilly as in cold....

Why do they call Life insurance , especially if it doesn't pay off until your dead??   So my seriously disfunctional family can afford to do everything that I hate just to spite me when I'm gone...

Well enough for tonight....Have a big day tomorrow. Going Racing....Nascar modifieds (season opener at the stadium) We won it last year.

If it don't rain.................

 

 

 

 

Edited April 22, 2017 by TWO LANE BLACK TOP

[TWO LANE BLACK TOP]

notallthere

Noticed that you are located in Canada...What do y'all call Canadian geese there??

[Frosty]

14 hours ago, TWO LANE BLACK TOP said:

notallthere

Noticed that you are located in Canada...What do y'all call Canadian geese there??

Natural invasive species?