Prof's shopping nightmares

[Professur]

It's no news to anyone here that Kijiji is my Kryptonite. I really need to block that site. Anyhow, to bring everyone up to speed ... The Parisienne has taken a bad turn after an attack of the metal moths. The Olds CC wagon has yet to receive it's transmission transplant. The missus has a new Sonic .. and I'm using her old terminally diagnosed Malibu until it breathes it's last. I still have not found any trace of a Yugo for sale anywhere in Canuckistan. M'kay. When last we checked in with our hero, he'd found a 1990 3cyl 1L convertible Firefly and a 1995 Firebird t-top and was doing his best impression of an Eggo betwixt the two.  Well, someone else bought the Firebird, and the Firefly owner went incommunicado. And the Malibu started making the sort of noises that make you wonder when Mom and Dad are going to quit talking and head home so you can test the flushing capacity of that new porcelain throne. With things rushing to a head, Our hero found a 2009 Uplander for sale at a local cheap used car lot for under $2k. Well, with a price like that, expectations weren't high and much would pass unquestioned. And now ....

 

Ok, looks like unless something drastic happens, the Uplander won't be. Unmentioned in the ad was the accident damage to the passenger side. Minor stuff .. headlight's been replaced and the fender fouls the door. Easy enough to fix. BUT. Arrive at the lot .. the van's battery is dead. That's one way to high computer codes, isn't it? Meh. One of the top engine mount's bolts are loose. Meh, you have to take them off to do just about any work on this car. Guy starts the car with a jump pack. Starts nice and easy. That's good. Engine has a small shudder .. probably just hasn't been run in a while. Water in the gas from alcohol most likely. No lifter tick. Lotta noise tho. The fans are running full bore, the engine's cold. That's no good. Looks like bunches of the wiring harness are held in place with zipties. Meh, those factory clips are a pain in the ass. Top terminal battery in a GM? That's a new one. Try the AC, compressor doesn't activate. Check the oil, engine running ... oil half way up the dipstick. WTF!! Check it again .. same.  Guy says you're not supposed to check the engine oil while it's running.  Um, yeah .. because it would read low. It might splash some up the stick ... but not half way up. Unless someone wants to tell me otherwise.

The engine's warming up so I decide to check the trans fluid. Foot on the brake ... right to the floor! OK, yeah ... maybe they haven't done their 'service' on it yet ... but someone drove it into this location. You knew it had no brakes.

And that's where this story ends. Damn shame. It felt like putting on an old sweater. I'd had a 1997 Transport and drove a 2000 Venture for work for years. This felt exactly the same. When you lift the hood ... there's a taller plastic grill ... but the old lower nose metal (core support) is still there. You could pull the hood and fenders off an old Montana, and they'd fit perfectly.  I really really wanted to drop money and take this one home. I could overlook just about everything .. but way too much oil and no brakes ... can't shrug that off.

[notallthere]

Wait just one question......................................When did you become our hero?

[Frosty]

Simply Wow!

So besides tha dime a dozen factor why not find a convertible Firebird? Especially with a V6? They have to go for relative cheap.

How about a Corsica-based Tempest? A Torrent? Aztek?

[Professur]

Well maybe convertible firebirds are as common as dirt in the US, but here they're hard to find in any condition anyone would want.  So, today I made the 2 hour run out to see the $800 Firefly. Rough. Rougher than I'd thought from the calls I'd had with them. Rockers are mush.  But they're repopped by Key. One of the two control arm mounts has rust, but isn't totally gone (my big worry). Engine started nicely from cold, all fluids look good. Roof is toast and the rear window opaque(but I already knew that). Exhaust is knackered, but who cares.  Took it for a ride ... shifts up well, but won't go from 3 to 2 until you're almost at a dead stop. Well, they're selling it with a spare engine and trans .... might be a shift fork, but I suspect the synchro.

 

 

 

[Frosty]

So is the Firefly a winner or a no go? 

[Professur]

That's the question, isn't it? The missus still hasn't decided. I'll be booking a pickup and trailer to bring it home Thursday if she doesn't say no before then.

[Frosty]

On 6/29/2017 at 11:21 PM, notallthere said:

Wait just one question......................................When did you become our hero?

We had a TV show about the Greatest American Hero. He lost the instruction manuel  to his super suit.

In Canada, you have Pro. He's lost his car keys (and his mind) but still has to get to work somehow. These are his adventures.

[Professur]

Whall the missus said I can have it if I don't think it'll cost too much to fix.

Edited July 3, 2017 by Professur

[Frosty]

So when do you get it now that you have permission?

[Professur]

Original plan is to run out Thursday with a Uhaul pickup and trailer as that's the only day the license bureau is open late to effect the transfer. I would usually just ask them to fill in a proxy form, but a large part of this is me trusting that they've kept it plated so it doesn't need a mechanical inspection, and that the evaluation they used last year when buying it is still valid. The gov't here want's to make sure they're not missing out on taxes so they want a professional evaluation of the vehicle's worth once it's over 25 year old and out of the KBB. Since calling an evaluator out to look it over, then write up a report is $125 and takes the better part of a week ... I'd rather avoid that. This way, they're on hand and if there's any trouble in the transfer to me ... it's their problem. And since they're over an hour away .. I'd be pretty skittish of taking a just bought car that far on the highway.

 

Did some reading. The downshift problem is definitely synchros. Fortunately, rebuild kits for that trans are easily had.

I do believe this is actually shorter than the Fiero.  Smallest Pontiac ever?

[Frosty]

How does it compare in length to the G3? Or the Astre? T1000 (Chevette)?

Pretty hard top beat the Fiero in length though.

Edited July 3, 2017 by Frosty

[Professur]

G3.         153"

T1000.   163"

Astra.      176"

Fiero        160"

Firefly.      141"

 

 

Looks like we have a winner

[Frosty]

1 hour ago, Professur said:

G3.         153"

T1000.   163"

Astra.      176"

Fiero        160"

Firefly.      141"

 

 

Looks like we have a winner

Yugo.      137.2"

Take the Firefly!

Edited July 4, 2017 by Frosty

[Professur]

Ordered the Uhaul pickup and trailer. All engines ahead full and damn the torpedoes.

[Frosty]

So now you know you are obligated to post a bazillion photos of this beast once you get it home, right?

[Professur]

Don't I always?

[Frosty]

So what is going to happen to the Parisienne now?

[Professur]

Harvest some parts for the olds and send her to the final rest

[Frosty]

[Professur]

Sadly, pretty much.  Just checked in with U-Haul ... naturally they buggered up the reservation and had me booked for noon when I requested a 3pm pickup. Retards.

[Ringo64]

1 hour ago, Professur said:

Sadly, pretty much.  Just checked in with U-Haul ... naturally they buggered up the reservation and had me booked for noon when I requested a 3pm pickup. Retards.

Pretty much my experience with U-Haul too.

[Professur]

And .... epic failure on all cylinders. Get to Uhaul ... they still think my rez is for noon, even though I just corrected it 2 hours ago. And their computers are (supposedly) screwing up. And the truck/trailer that were supposed, according to them, to be picked up 3 hours ago ... nowhere to be found. 45 minutes for them to search, not find, walk around aimlessly some more, then take one of the two out of service trailers and put it back in service (change a flat tire) ... and on top of all that, the contract had the pickup's mileage wrong.

Finally get out of there without killing anyone, drive the hour (now in the rush hour traffic I'd planned to beat) to meet the owner at the DMV to transfer ownership. Québec, you might remember, demands it's pound of flesh in the form of an evaluation of the car's value from a "professional evaluator" for anything over 25 years old. Well, the owner only bought it last fall so his evaluation should still be good. Nope. Fuckers changed the law again. Now the evaluation must be in the name of the purchaser. Who the FORD is going to pay for an evaluation on someone else's car? Just one more dick move to make buying old cars more difficult. So we run around his little frat ass farm town looking for a dealership that will do the eval. Nope. FORD it ... let's go fill in a proxy form and I'll get the blaster eval done in the big city. Well guess what. Clown Pants can't find his pink (green here) slip. Can't do a proxy buy without it.

 

Well I can take a hint. I wish him the best of luck with the next potential buyer ... I've spent enough time and money on this venture. Evidently t'was not meant to be.

[Ringo64]

Dang, that blows. Don't blame ya for dropping it

[JUSTA6]

Wow..and we complain about our Sec of State.

[Frosty]

Sounds like FUBAR to me. So now what? Keep searching for something else? Still part ways with the Parisienne?

30 minutes ago, JUSTA6 said:

Wow..and we complain about our Sec of State.

We do but with legitimate reason. Pro appears to be getting the provincial runaround extraordinare today. Mo-reh-all seems to be full of idiots before and after rush hour, and in Ottawa too but that goes without saying.